Amy R. Sussman, Esq. I am an Ivy-League undergraduate and have been a practicing divorce attorney for 32 years in the Garden City area. Be assured that if you are considering divorce, you are not alone. There are many reasons we tell ourselves not to, but when it is just too much or you are forced into a situation by your spouse, the worst thing to do is wait, with the hopes that things will improve. In my opinion, as an attorney, the only time things change is when one or both get professional help. Which is usually short-lived, if at all, and useless if you are reading this.

Knowledge is power and power is what will get you through this process. I will endow you with so much knowledge about the system and how it can work for you, that not only will you obtain the financial settlement to which you are entitled, but you will gain self-esteem and confirm that your actions were correct.

Divorce, unlike other types of law is fraught with emotion, while simultaneously worrying about finances and children. It likely seems overwhelming or frightening, but do you want to continue to live like this? Have you had enough of the cheating spouse, the alcoholic or drug abuser, being a victim of domestic violence? The only reason you feel as though you don’t have the power to withstand a divorce is because you have been dancing the same dance for so long, that you have been manipulated into thinking you have no choice but to stay. Simply because your spouse is employed outside the home and earns the money, does not give him or her power over you. Power comes from within. Its definition is not money; its definition is the strength to go on with your life knowing that no one can manipulate you and drive you insane. If you do decide to go forward, or are forced into it, I can tell you one thing. In all of my years as a divorce lawyer, not a single client, man or woman, has ever looked at me and said “I regret this”. Instead they say “I wish I had done this years ago.”

That is why choosing the correct attorney to represent you is key. We all went to law school and passed the bar exam, but we are not the same. Everyone has their own style of how to handle a divorce, but you must have someone who will listen to you and have not only the legal understanding and ramifications of your situation, but the patience and empathy to help you. This is what sets me aside from others. When you hire me, you get me. I do not hand you off to an associate to do the work. I will be in Court with you and available when necessary. My goal is to get you divorced as easily as possible, without spending thousands of dollars to do so. Unfortunately, that is not the goal of every lawyer. So when I see that my adversary is doing the wrong thing legally or acting pretentiously and antagonistically in an effort to show he or she is a big
shot, I become the pit bull they pretend to be.

Taking the first step and calling is one of the most difficult decisions of your life. But usually when someone comes in for a consultation, and hasn’t even decided to hire me yet, he or she tells me that the consultation in and of itself made him or her feel better. It is because they have learned something; they see what to expect and get a picture of what I am like and hopefully will feel confident in handing the case to me. That is what usually happens because it is evident in my discussions that not only do I understand the emotional conundrum, but also that I know the law, and know how to use it to your advantage.

Recently I had a case where I represented the non-monied spouse, the Wife, who stayed home with her children. Her husband decided to leave for another woman, but he continued to pay the bills at the marital residence. I knew there was some money hidden based upon our conversations, but the question was how to find it. There are ways to do this with a private investigator or a forensic accountant, but the case had not yet begun. I went through her documents and found an old safe deposit box slip. I asked her if it was his and he still had it. She had no idea. But I had an overwhelming feeling something was in there based upon our conversation. Thus I started the divorce case and simultaneously asked the Judge for an order to keep the safe deposit box sealed until both counsel could look at it together. This was all done without him knowing and it is legal. The day came when we went to the box, unsure if anything was in it, and lo and behold we found $80,000.00 in cash that he was trying to hide. And the rest is history. These are the type of tactics that sometimes must be used. And so I do.

You need someone who can think out of the box and then accomplish the task. In my example, had I waited, it is possible the box would have been emptied before we found it. This type of thinking is something lawyers either have or don’t. I have it. It’s in my DNA. I will never give up on a problem and say “oh well, that’s it.” As your advocate I research the issue and my modus operandi changes depending upon the results of the research. Most cases can be settled, but if it cannot and trial is the only way, it will be your decision as to whether you wish to compromise or go for the gusto.